I hope all of the corporate executives working at the Capital One ripoff agency dies of explosive diarrhea, and or chokes on the same runny brown ooze that drips from their backsides.

You see, I had an account with these gutter snakes over 6 years ago. After two years of getting reamed with fees, inability to contact customer service, rude representatives, etc, etc, (Standard Operating Procedure with all credit card companies), I decided to terminate my account to save both my sanity and my credit. The account was closed over 3 and a half years ago.

Last month, to my surprise, I was shocked to see a bill for $39.00 from Capital One, and that my account was again active. Maybe it is just the bad economy or something, and credit card companies are needy, but that is absolutely no excuse for their actions (Which by the way is totally illegal). I tried to contact them 4 times and each and every time, I was placed on hold for more than an hour. So, I decided to contact their abuse department by mail, and send the bill back to them in Salt Lake City with big red letters on it stating that I had never authorized them to do this, and that I wanted it canceled immediately.

Much not to my surprise, I received another bill from them with a late fee attached. On the brink of calling my lawyer, I decide to try and call them one more time. After a 45 minute hold, I finally got through and was totally shocked to be actually speaking with a humaniod. He looked through my account and said that he had found the discrepancy. He put me on hold again to see what he could do about it, came back on the phone with me, then HUNG UP THE PHONE ON ME!!! I was completely livid. I dial back in a complete frenzy, this time the hold was 38 minutes and as you could imagine, I wanted someones head. The lady that answered hardly spoke a lick of English, and could not understand my request waive the fees, and cancel my freaking account. So I did what I imagine 98% of callers do, ask to speak to the manager.

40 more minutes go by, and I finally get a manager. It then took her over 20 minutes to see the discrepancy, waive the fees, and cancel the account. FINALLY SUCCESS!! All in all, I spent well over 6 hours on the phone with a credit card company that totally f***ed up in the first place, and proving them wrong is like having your nuts pulled out through your mouth.

If Capital One is hurting that much for money right now, hows about taking those stupid multi-million dollar commercials off the air, stop sponsoring college bowl games, stop lying and cheating us consumers, and dropping dead.

What’s in My Wallet?? Not Capital One. Over three years ago, it was in a hundred pieces, lying beneath a huge steamer in a sewer somewhere.

DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!!   PLEASE JOIN ME IN BOYCOTTING CAPITAL ONE.

SeaArrrgh II – Protesting the Cult of scientology – June 13 & 20, 2009 – from TheDonzerlyLight on Vimeo.